he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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