Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
