some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
