She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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