I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
