I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
