YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
