Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
