New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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