I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
