When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
