She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
