I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
