and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You can't just leave with hair like that
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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