whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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