Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
