the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
