Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
