I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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