also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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