Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
