You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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