We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
