2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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