Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I am available for nakedness
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
