I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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