thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
