Porn is love you can see.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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