real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
