when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
