Non-Jews are for practice
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm always down for nudity.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
