Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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