And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
