You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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