well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
