Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
