Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I enjoy the company of your penis
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
