Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
