didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
