come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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