the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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