So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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