separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
