and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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