I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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