brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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