But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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