But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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