Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
