Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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