so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
