grandma shit on top of the toilet
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
