She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
